Saturday, October 4, 2008


I've been trying to simplify my life. The whole process has turned out to be rather complicated. How simple can life get with a husband who's gone twelve hour each day, seven year old twins, and a kindergartener? Regardless, I've been trying.

You see, this year has been, well, not easy. We have suffered through a job loss that resulted in four months without a salary, the sudden deaths of both my husband's mom and my younger sister, a weakening economy, our daughter being diagnosed with ADHD, and it's been my first year as primary president. My stress level has been at a near all-time high. In an attempt to counteract the lack of control I have in the universe in general, I have taken to controlling everything else. I can throw stuff out. I can cut things out of our schedule. I can change dentists. I can return all of the library books and refuse to borrow any more. I can require that all grain products consumed in our home be made from whole-grains (except for my annual box of ding dongs). I can toss all games and puzzles that are missing pieces. I can do laundry on Wednesdays only...

Except, I can't. I spend a great deal of time thinking about the various ways I could make my life simpler, but then the guilt hits and I fail to follow through. I continue to add to our schedule, because I want to give my kids every opportunity. I feel guilty about changing dentists - even though I hate the guy we have now. I can't leave a library empty handed. And sometimes - just sometimes - Captain Crunch calls to me like a long lost friend. I end up doing laundry nearly every day - at least in some form. And the whole process of simplification has left me feeling more out of control than ever.

Welcome to my life.


Kara said...

It sounds like we are both just more human and prone to life than we feel we are suppose to be. But, maybe 2009 will be a year of full employment, no unexpected deaths and all whole grains. We can always hope.

Christina Munyan said...

Keep holding on. I am sure that things will take a turn for the better. That seems to be how life up and down after another.